Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Sad Saga of Assembling Seven Songs

The other day I was “tagged” by Roxy of Roxiticus Housewives to assemble a list of seven songs I am currently listening to on my iPod. She was, of course, assuming I already had an iPod and could easily tap into my “frequently played” list to find my most popular current choices. But for those of you who read about my unfortunate subway incident in Madrid, you will know that I no longer have an iPod. In fact, I no longer pay attention to music at all, preferring to spend my days listening to the gentle rustle of mice beneath my floorboards. (Just kidding about the last part. I still listen to music and I don’t have mice. At least I don’t think I do. I’m sure the cats would have found them by now.)

Anyway, in order to comply with Roxy’s wishes, I had to go out and buy myself a new iPod so I could truly immerse myself in the creative process. Yes it’s true, I could have easily made up a list of seven random songs and just told Roxy they were on my iPod. But that would be dishonest. And if I know one thing about certain Desperate Housewives, they do not put up with dishonesty. (Especially someone as prude and prudent as Bree.)

So out to the local Circuit City I went, credit card in hand and a calliope of famous tunes swimming in my head. Unfortunately, the local Circuit City was all sold out of iPods, or maybe they never had any iPods to begin with. I wasn’t really sure, because I couldn’t understand the salesperson that waited on me. His English was not that great, nor were his translation skills. And when I tried to ask another salesperson for help, he got very angry and started cursing me in another language. (Or at least I assume that’s what he was doing, as his vocal histrionics involved an awful lot of spitting.)

Needless to say, I left Circuit City and headed over to Best Buy, where I was sure I would find what I was looking for. Sure enough they had plenty of iPods available for sale. But because of some kind of fluke shipping mishap, the only color they currently had available was pink. Honestly. It was like they were having a Barbie convention or something.

So I left Best Buy, hoping to reach the Mac store at the Mall before it closed. With fifteen minutes to spare, I ran from my car, into the mall, past Macy’s, past Sears, past The Disney Store, until I finally reached my destination---the Mac Store. Surely they would have a wide variety of iPods to choose from. And a large selection of colors as well. I glanced at the window before entering the store, and was relieved to see a multitude of options and models. Thank God. I would finally be able to get my iPod, go home and load it with music, so I could finally figure out what I was listening to.

But as soon as I tried to enter the store, I noticed a sign taped across the entryway that read “Sorry for the inconvenience. We are currently closed for inventory.” I’m sure you can imagine the string of expletives that came bursting forth from my mouth, as the frustration of my situation overwhelmed me. After a short tirade, I left the mall, only to find my car had been ticketed for parking in front of a fire hydrant. Only I didn't know it was a fire hydrant, because it had recently been painted to look like a garden gnome by a local group of schoolchildren as part of their “Let’s Make Our Neighborhood Colorful” project. Lucky me. (I didn't know it was supposed to be a garden gnome, either. I thought it was a statue of Ross Perot.)

After such a horrendous experience, I still have not assembled the list of seven songs, though there are several four-letter words that have gotten a lot of airplay in my household lately. One of them, being the name “Roxy” for putting me through such a terrible ordeal. (Just kidding, Roxy.)

So for now, I have still not assembled my list of seven songs. But that's just me. What are the seven songs you are listening to constantly these days?


Matthew S. Urdan said...

LOL! Great post! I was tagged too, but because of the Stanley Cup Playoffs and some late nights watching hockey, and reserving my blog space for posts about such events, I haven't got to the seven songs post yet either.

But one song that will be on the list, when I get around to it, is one I listen to all the time. It's a song John Lennon of all people called "the greatest pop song ever written," and I should think he would be a good one to judge, and it's a song that's been covered no less than 51 times.

I'm sure you've heard it too:

ABBA's Knowing Me, Knowing You.


Henson Ray said...

Wow. I had no idea that song has been covered so many times. The only one I ever listen to is the original. Or the "Mamma Mia!" version. (By the way, have you already gotten your tickets yet for the movie? Being a huge ABBA fan, I'm sure you are not going to miss it.)

RoxiticusDH said...


You are too funny!
I'll have to give you more homework.


RoxiticusDH said...

Came back to drop off my Bay Head Blog EntreCard and had another hearty hohoho...

Have a great weekend!


Matthew S. Urdan said...

Not yet, I don't have tickets for Mammma Mia!...July 18th will be a watershed day....Batman: The Dark Knight and Mamma Mia! I guarantee you I'll see them both, and if I have to recover from the darkness of Heath Ledger's performance as the joker, I might even see Mamma Mia! again afterwards.

I'll probably drive the 3 hours to Atlanta for this day to make sure I get Real Stadium Seating, a massive screen, and the best sound quality possible.

Matthew S. Urdan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Daisy said...

I will give you an "A+" for effort.

Waterrose said...

At first I was going to say, what a great excuse to buy an ipod. As I read further I thought...what torture. I suggest you visit the iTunes store and just pick 7 songs...order an iPod fuss no muss!

I can't leave you with my top 7 would take me all day to decide and the dogs would not be happy.

Henson Ray said...

Roxy, Glad I was able to amuse you with my tragic experience. Heh, heh. But seriously, you never know what will happen when you give me homework.

Matt, Sounds like you have it all planned out...but a three hour trip to Atlanta just to get stadium seating. Why not just go to your local drive-in and set on top of your car? (Do drive-ins even exist anymore?)

Daisy and Waterose, thanks for stopping by. I think the reason I got into so much trouble was because I was procrastinating on making up a list. I hate making up lists, even if it only has seven items. Reminds me too much of grocery shopping, which as we all know, is one of the most frightening experiences known to man.

Eric S. said...

I was going to say something about not being tagged, then I figured Roxy would show up and give me homework.

Don't you just hate it when your looking for that one thing, and nobody has it or has the wrong one. Sounds like my luck.

tashabud said...

Henson, this is one funny misadventure story. It could be a basis of a comedy movie script.

RoxiticusDH said...


If you weren't such a capable student, I wouldn't have to give you so much homework...tonight I'm here to tag you with the Unspectacular Quirks Meme. Please visit Roxiticus Desperate Housewives to learn more.

Thanks -- Roxy

Mo said...

That was quite an amusing post - from Roxy being a 4-letter word, to the fire hydrant gnome Ross Perot!