Deer Droppings--Flash Forward TV

Please click on the photo above to watch a short one-minute film from the new "Deer Droppings" series. This episode features a song parody of "Top of the World" by the Carpenters which lampoons the use of flash forwards on shows like "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives."

Hope you enjoy it. And have a great Memorial Day weekend!!!!!

The Procrastination Against Picking up Pennies

Have you ever noticed a penny lying on the floor and not bothered to pick it up? Even though the old adage says “Find a penny, Pick it up, All day long you’ll have good luck.” And yet you inherently know that a penny isn’t worth that much, so you pass it by without a second thought. In fact, if someone ever said to you “A penny for your thoughts,” you would probably insist on getting at least a dollar before you responded. (Am I right?)

Even when a penny falls out of your pocket, you never bother to pick it up. You just leave it wherever it lands. Over by the bookcase, next to the bathtub, caught between the floorboards. You see them all the time, lying in their place, waiting to be picked up. You mean to pick them up. You tell yourself to pick them up. But you don’t. They’re just not worth enough to you. So you leave them lying there. Alone, abandoned, gathering dust. Is this just a case of laziness on your part, or do you perhaps have a serious issue with anti-penny-ism?

All kidding aside, what if this act of defiance against copper currency actually represented a much bigger problem? What if ignoring the penny is really our way of procrastinating against something we don’t want to deal with? As if it’s showing us that we aren’t attentive to the little things. I mean, if we can’t even bend down to pick up a penny off the floor, what does that say about the other little “issues” in our life that we’re ignoring?

So the pennies start to pile up. They become a sort of physical manifestation of our chaotic state of mind. The more pennies we see, the more we probably need to resolve some kind of conflict in our life. And until we confront the problem, there will always be pennies lying around to remind us. That’s why it’s so hard to pick them up. It means facing our demons.

Anyway, it’s just a theory. It probably doesn’t work with dimes or quarters, though. And definitely not with Susan B. Anthony dollars.

Bird Bits--Future Star

Please click on the photo above to watch a one-minute video from the "Bird Bits" series entitled "Future Star." In this episode, two male birds discuss the star potential of a singing Bluebird.

What can I say? I have a lot of time on my hands.

Getting Irrationally Angry at Inanimate Objects

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to be going against you? It all begins when you wake up to find yourself tangled in the sheets. Naturally, you try to get yourself untwisted. But the more you attempt to unravel yourself, the deeper into the sheets you go. Eventually, you end up rolling off the bed, as the sheets magically unwrap themselves on the way down, as if they’d never been a problem to begin with.

Slightly irritated, but still a little groggy, you venture into the bathroom to pull yourself together. But as soon as you flip the switch, the light burns out, leaving you in the dark long enough to slam your toe into the toolbox you forgot to remove from the middle of the floor the previous evening. (And why did you bring a whole toolbox into the bathroom anyway? You were only going to hang a picture, so all you really needed to bring was a hammer and a nail…not the entire collection of Stanley Tools you got for Christmas.) Nevertheless, you curse the toolbox and the defective light, and hurry downstairs to the kitchen to make yourself a nice hot cup of coffee. At least that will make you feel better.

Only you forgot to buy a new supply of coffee, and the only thing resembling caffeine in the household is an old can of International Flavors somebody gave you for Memorial Day a few years ago. (Who gives presents on Memorial Day, anyway?) The flavor is some kind of mint chocolate guava mixture that sounds more like an ice cream than coffee, but you open the can anyway, hoping that a quick shot of caffeine will help you face the day.

After preparing the coffee and taking your first sip, you notice something strange about the contents. The coffee appears to have a crunchy aftertaste, which you find a little odd. So you reopen the can of International Flavors to take a closer look. Sure enough, the powdered mixture appears to be moving. You quickly spit out the remaining coffee in your mouth and run to the bathroom for Listerine. Only you forget about the missing light and the toolbox (which you still have not removed from the middle of the floor), and once again slam into it with your toe. Although this time it’s the other toe, so at least you’re getting a fair distribution of pain.

After cleansing your palette of any residual maggots, you decide to take a shower to clear your head. But once you step into the shower, you slip on a small piece of soap lying on the floor. You manage to catch yourself by grabbing the shower caddy attached to the wall, an action that has more consequences than you could possibly anticipate. First, the caddy comes unhinged from the wall, sending you downward again. Then, on it’s way down, it manages to open, spilling its entire contents allover your body.

And this is when you finally lose it. You begin swearing and screaming at the shower caddy as you throw its various contents out of the tub. One of the bottles manages to hit your bathroom mirror, cracking it ever so slightly in one corner. Another bottle lands in the cat box on top of a freshly produced pile of crap. Each of these incidents causes you to get even angrier, until every inanimate object within your reach becomes your enemy. The rugs on the floor are ready to trip you, the toothbrush wants to stab you, the scale will lie about your weight. It seems like everything around you is on a mission to drive you mad. And the more irrational you become, the more it seems like you’re on an episode of “When Inanimate Objects Attack.”

If I were being logical, I’d realize all the mishaps I suffered were my own doing. But since I can’t possibly blame myself for such antics, I tend to lash out at the objects around me, as if they were formulating a giant conspiracy against me. It’s stupid, I know. And ridiculous. But it’s one of those behaviors you don’t realize you’re doing until after you’ve already done it. And by that time, you’ve already destroyed half the bathroom with a passionate need to avenge your honor.

But that’s just me. Have you ever gotten irrationally angry at an inanimate object?

Cat Clips--Till Death

Please click on the photo above to watch a short one-minute film from the "Cat Clips" series. This episode is called "Till Death" and follows our two main cats as they discuss the subject of death. (Not as morbid as it sounds.)

The Cathartic Chaos of Camping

Today I am a guest blogger on Matt Urdan's blog, "Meltwater. Torrents. Meandering. Delta." So please click on the photo above or the link below to read all about my chaotic history with camping. And stay for a while to visit Matt's great website. You won't believe some of the photos--amazing!

The Cathartic Chaos of Camping

Enjoy!

I Never Knew--A Mother's Day Poem

For Mother's Day this year, I decided to write my mom a little poem. She's always been the "unsung hero" in our household, and I would like to give her a fitting tribute. My efforts are certainly less than she deserves, because her impact on my life is undoubtedly more than I can ever say. But here's my humble attempt to put my thoughts together in a creative way. I love you, Mom!

I Never Knew

I never knew my mom could laugh,
Until once late at night,
She laughed so hard she woke me up,
And gave me quite a fright.

I never knew my mom could care,
Until I got the flu,
Then night and day she stayed with me,
She helped me see it through.

I never knew my mom was proud,
Until she heard me sing,
Her face was beaming all the while,
Her eyes were watering.

I never knew my mom worked hard,
Until I saw the bills,
And how her job helped pay them all,
To free our life from ills.

I never knew my mom was strong,
Until I saw her fight,
Defending people without a voice,
To help protect their right.

I never knew my mom could cry,
Until dad took a trip,
Away on business several months,
Her tears would often drip.

I never knew that mom meant love,
Until I moved away,
Some time would pass before I knew,
I missed her every day.

I never knew my mom at all,
But now I know her better,
For truth to tell, my mom was glue,
That held our home together.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!