We Can't Let This Bank Fail!

When I was ten years old, my father gave me a hardbound blank book for Christmas. He knew that I liked to read and write stories, and so he thought maybe I might someday write something in this one. To his surprise, I spent the rest of the day and the following two days filling those blank pages with a story of my own invention called “Hands of a Rhino.” It was about a boy who bumps into a deaf homeless man one day while walking through his neighborhood. The two strike up a friendship, and the boy eventually helps the homeless man integrate himself back into society again. As I was writing it, I imagined the whole thing as a sort of happy Hallmark Hall of Fame special.

When I presented the completed book (which included a forward, a chapter breakdown, illustrations, and an epilogue) to my Father three days later, he was shocked and amazed. And after he read the story, he got all choked up and praised me for my ideas and imagination. He was also amazed that a ten year old boy from rural Ohio would have any knowledge of homeless people at all. After all, we didn’t see the streets of our town lined with any, and we rarely ever heard of any vagrants in our area, so how I came up with such a heartfelt idea was beyond his comprehension. But somewhere deep down inside, I always knew there were people who were less fortunate than me, and that I should always try to help them whenever I could. Especially in this time of recession, it seems like there are a plethora of people in need, and not enough help to go around.

Which brings me to the real subject of today’s post: The Community Food Bank of New Jersey. For more than 25 years, the Community FoodBank of New Jersey (CFBNJ) has been a beacon of hope for the hungry families in the state. But with food donations down significantly and demand up 30 percent, their shelves are nearly bare and the FoodBank is struggling to meet the need. More than 500,000 people in New Jersey turn to emergency food pantries and soup kitchens dependent on supplies from the Community FoodBank. More than half of those assisted are children and the elderly. Those numbers are growing. It’s up to us to make sure there is enough food to distribute so that our hungry neighbors are not turned away.

They need your help now. Please make a Deposit of Hope by filling out the coupon below. You can also visit http://www.njfoodbank.org/ or call 908-355-FOOD to donate. The payoff will feed your soul…take that to the bank.

Legendary music icon Bruce Springsteen will be lending his voice to the fight against hunger in New Jersey by appearing in a major advertising campaign for the Community FoodBank of New Jersey – the largest food bank in the state. A supporter of the FoodBank for 23 years, this ad marks the first time Springsteen has publicly lent his image to the campaign, due to the urgency of the situation. The Grammy award-winning musician often donates proceeds from his concerts to the organization.

In this season of giving, let's all try to dig a little deeper into our pockets to help out this worthy cause. And don't just do it for Bruce. Do it for your heart.

Taming the Terrible Talker with the Two Minute Tip

Have you ever been to a social get-together where one overly-talkative person “hogs” the conversation? No matter how many times other people try to contribute, they are constantly interrupted by the “hog’s” incessant need to speak? And though everyone around him seems to notice his lack of social etiquette, nobody is rude enough to point it out. So the “hog” continues to roll around in his own mud, spewing out stories and anecdotes until you are literally covered in his material. It becomes more of a “Hogversation” than a true social interaction, leaving the participants feeling tired and suffocated by such a domineering orator.

But how do you tactfully tell someone to shut up when you are certain to hurt their feelings and cause embarrassment to everyone around them? It is not an easy thing to accomplish, especially if the oblivious talkers assume their listeners are thoroughly captivated with lengthy diatribes. (Stay-at-home parents are often guilty of this type of excessive talking, as they are usually hungry to speak to anyone over the age of ten. These types of diatribes are sometimes sub-categorized as “Momversations,” referring to the repetitive nature of the subject matter.)

My favorite rule of thumb is to gently introduce the “Two Minute Rule” into the conversation. The basis of the Two Minute Rule is pretty simple--NEVER dominate a conversation for more than two minutes. To talk longer than two minutes makes you sound like you're giving a speech, and this should be avoided at all costs. True, some stories might take longer than two minutes to tell, so naturally there are exceptions to this rule. But if you tend to be the type of person that links five or six stories together without taking a breath, than perhaps you too suffer from “Hogversation.” It’s much better to bring up a topic, ask others what their opinions are, and then contribute your ideas or opinions during the intervals.

I have one friend who has a severe case of “Hogversation,” as she happily recounts one tale after another (usually about her children), and seems oblivious that others might want to speak as well. And when the rare opportunity for entry into the conversation is granted, she usually has a better story about your “topic,” and therefore interrupts you to immediately tell it. Most of the time they never get back to your story, and are onto another topic within minutes.

To avoid this type of situation in the future, I suggest instituting the two-minute rule at the beginning of each social gathering. It will make everyone aware of the etiquette right off the bat, so you don’t have to embarrass anyone later. And then if someone does “break” the rule, you can jokingly remind them without making it sound like an attack. You can even make a game of it. (“Hey, let’s play the two minute rule tonight. Anyone who breaks it has to take a drink.”) Not that you necessarily have to make every conversation a drinking game, but you get the idea.

But that’s just me. How do you tactfully train a Conversation Hog?