Wallowing in Winter Whining

Did you ever have one of those days where you had absolutely nothing to say, and not one interesting idea to blog about? And it’s not like you don’t have millions of things you could talk about, or share, or poke fun at….and yet, for some reason you don’t have any desire or energy to put the effort into it? Well, if not, congratulations! You are simply an amazing individual, and should therefore feel free to go along your merry way without reading another word of this. (I mean it. Not another word.) But for those of you who may occasionally suffer from what some might refer to as “writer’s block,” kindly proceed this way. (Good, that’s one paragraph down.)

Personally, I usually have several topics on hand to blog about at any given time. As I think of things to write about, I jot them down on one of the many pads of post-it notes that pepper my desk. That way, if there should ever come a time when I can’t think of anything to write about, I would simply peel off a post it and jot down my thoughts on that particular topic. That was, of course, before the post-its started separating from their pads, thus becoming small individual pieces of paper that would get mixed in with the stacks of mail or work projects or junk mail or anything else that happened to come across my desk, and for some reason, remained there in a collective heap. The eventual result would be post-its that inadvertently attached themselves to the bottom of something I was throwing out, or they accidentally got between two pieces of paper that went into some file that I’ll probably never look at again for at least three years. (But boy, when I do look at it, I’m sure that missing post-it will give me a really great idea for a blog posting. Unless it’s something topical, like my thoughts on Paris Hilton, or the cancellation of “Dirty Sexy Money”---both of which I hope are no longer relevant or remembered.)

So I could certainly blame my lack of inspiration on the missing post it notes, or any of a dozen other excuses I could come up with to explain my predicament. (None of which would be the direct result of anything I did wrong, of course.) But I think there’s something even more sinister at work here. Something that seeps into your body around this time of year, causing you to feel even more tired and listless than usual. And if you work at home like I do, and don’t need to venture out into the world on a daily basis, than the monotony of your environment on a cold, particularly bleak winter week can make you feel like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining.” It’s not exactly a full-blown case of Winter Blues, but it’s not general Slovenliness either. It’s some grey area in between, where everything literally feels gray.

And I’m not saying I don’t have distractions. The presence of two new kittens in the house has certainly kept me quite entertained, so it’s not like I’m ever bored. I just hate the winter. I hate not being able to go outside and sit in my backyard. I hate having to put on layers of clothes just to go to the supermarket to pick up that favorite ice cream I’ve been craving. Only once I’ve been out in the freezing cold for a good half hour, ice cream is probably the last thing I’m likely to eat.

So what’s my point in all this? Don’t worry, I’m getting to that. (Patience, please!). I’m just bitching about my least favorite time of year, and how it can make me particularly lazy when it comes to writing my blog. I have so many other things to do, including filming and editing my little videos, and playing with the cats, and going out with friends, and…the list goes on and on. In other words, I have plenty to occupy my time so I’ve sort of let the writing portion of my blog slip a little in the last few weeks. And instead of updating every three days, I’ve started updating every four, or sometimes five (shocking, I know). So anyway, for anyone who might have noticed this inconsistency in my posting habits (and for the two of you, I thank you), I apologize. And that, my friends, was the entire point of this posting. (Which just proves that I can pontificate on practically anything---once I find the right post it note, that is.)

But that’s just me. Are you having any trouble when it comes to your writing efforts in the winter time?

The Unexpected Acquisition of Tipi and Tuck

When I lived in New York City four years ago, I didn’t have a huge apartment, so the only occupants that could live comfortably inside my rather meak quarters were me and my two cats. And even that was pushing it. (Thank God, the trash room was very close to my apartment door, as the cat box required frequent cleanings.)

Anyway, now that I live in a much larger house in the suburbs, I thought it might be fun to expand my collection of cats beyond the standard two. And since I’d always gotten my kittens from a rescue agency, I decided this time would be no exception. So with pen and pad in hand, I began perusing Google for the names of local rescue agencies that might have some kittens for adoption. And to my surprise, the procedure for acquiring an animal had gotten much more complex. There were legal papers you had to sign, and certain rules you had to follow, along with a background inspection of your veterinary records.

Who knew rescuing a kitten would require all this paperwork? I mean, I understand why they’re doing it--- they’re trying to protect the animals from people who might want to use them for less-than-ethical reasons. But the whole process made me feel like I was being punished for something before I committed a crime.

Nevertheless, I found an ad on Craig’s List that advertised for a Rescue Service that was having a big pet adoption fair on New Year’s Eve weekend from 1 to 4. So with my paperwork all filled out, I drove the forty-five minutes it took to get to the special facility, only to find out that the times for adoption were listed incorrectly in the paper. Apparently you had to have your kitten all picked out by three o’clock in order to get through all the processing by 4. And even though it didn’t list those particular requirements in the paper, and I happened to get to the agency at 2:50, I was not able to adopt a pet. And to add insult to injury, the women behind the desk made no apology for the mistake in the paper, nor did they seem to care that I drove out of my way to help them provide a nice home for one of their animals.

Disappointed that I wasn’t able to get my “instant kitten,” I went home and searched the Internet again for some shelter that was having open adoptions that weekend. Luckily, there were two in my area that held weekly adoptions on Saturdays at the local pet stores. (Pet Stores apparently no longer sell cats or dogs…they only provide food and accessories for them.) So on Saturday morning, I drove to the first pet store to find my two cats a new companion. But apparently, kittens were a scarcity at this shelter, as they only had mature cats up for adoption that day. And though my heart went out to all those homeless animals, I really had my heart set on a kitten, as I thought a kitten would be much easier to introduce into my current clan than a mature cat.

So off to the next pet store I went, only to find the same sort of situation. There were only mature cats available. And though I looked through the various options, and even played with a few, I still felt a kitten would be my best choice. Luckily one of the girls who worked for the rescue told me that Sunday was the day when most of the kittens were brought in for adoption, while Saturday was mostly for mature cats. Not sure why that was, unless there’s some sort of mass pilgrimage to the pet store after Church every Sunday.

Anyway, I decided to come back the next day to see what kittens might be available, although by this time I was already less than positive about what I might find. That was, until I saw Tipi (not her original name, by the way). And even though I was really looking for a male cat (as I’ve always found them to be much more affectionate), this little girl caught my eye…mainly because of her unusual multi-colored coat. She also had two brothers with her, one black and one grey, but her personality won me over immediately. And as soon as I got her home, I knew I’d made the right choice. She wasn’t upset to be in a new home, and didn’t seem to care that she was no longer surrounded by siblings. In fact, she took to her new surroundings immediately.

One day, while she was purring in my lap, I decided to do some research on her unusual markings, which looked like marble to me. As I was surfing, I came across a website that sold pure breed cats known as Bengals. They are a cross between a Tabby and a wild Asian Leopard Cat, and as you’d expect, many look like little leopards. Some have the famous leopard spots, but some are more marble colored, like Tippy was. As I began finding more and more information about Bengals, I became fascinated not only with their beautiful composition, but also how similar they seemed to the cat I’d just gotten from the local rescue.

To make a long story short, I decided for the first time in my life to purchase a pure breed cat. (Or a pure breed anything, for that matter. No longer will I only be associated with Mutts.) But I didn’t want to get it from a cat farm or puppy mill, or anyone who worked for such a place (even though those animals deserve to be rescued just as much as any other). After some searching and numerous phone calls, I found a breeder that was two hours away who’d had a litter of Bengal kittens with a golden male that was ready for adoption. She had great credentials and raised all the animals in her home, which made me feel like they would probably be somewhat better adjusted to domestic life than a cat born on the streets.

So I made the trip and fell in love with Tuck right away. (Again, not the name given to him by the owner.) And when I brought him home, he and Tipi hit it off right away. And since she was already a month older than he was, she became like his big sister, showing him all the ropes as well as teaching him to groom and wrestle fairly. Luckily, I have caught a lot of these interactions on film, so they will definitely be featured in future episodes of “Cat Clips.” For now, I am just enjoying my happy little zoo.

But that’s just me. Have you ever adopted or purchased an animal before, and how did you feel about the two options?

Henson's Hell Wins An Award!

Henson’s Hell has won an award. And I didn’t even know such things were possible. But Jon from The Ups, Downs and Sometimes Insane World of Freelance Writing has given me the esteemed “Arte y Pico Award.” It is part of a tag initiative from the “Arte y Pico Blog,” where you pass along the compliment to other bloggers.

I am truly honored by this award, and have so many little people to thank for helping me achieve such recognition. Yes, it has been a long struggle to win this achievement, and yes, I had to compromise every moral and value I held sacred just to scratch and claw my way to the winner's circle. But now I am here, and I have no one to thank but myself. And all the millions of pixels that help form my blog every day. (Forgive me for this little sarcastic interlude, but I just couldn't help myself.)

Now on to the important stuff. To follow are the rules and then my own personal selection of five deserving winners:

1) You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of "Arte y Pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award. http://arteypico.blogspot.com/.

And though I wish I could tag everyone with this special honor, I can only choose five. And here they are:

Meltwater. Torrents. Meanderings. Delta.

Roxiticus Desperate Housewives

Magic and Moments at Dragonfly Cottage

Daisy the Curly Cat

The Roller Blog

Please visit all the great blogs above, and see why they are at the top of their game.

The Blatant Overuse of LOL, ROFLOL and Other Electronic Acronyms

I recently got an e-mail from a friend with the following acronym in it: FMTYEWTK. Not being a frequent acronym user, I was a little confused as to what he was trying to tell me. Later in the letter he also used LSHMBH and WYSITWIRL, which made me wonder if I needed some kind of special Superhero Decoder Ring in order to translate his message. I realize we live in a world that is moving too fast, and people just don’t have time to write out entire sentences anymore, but come on!!! What the hell am I supposed to make of a bunch of letters strung together in a nonsensical fashion unless I’m already privy to the secret language it’s composed in?

I think some e-mail, text message and IM users have forgotten that some of us still live in the real world where communication means using actual words and phrases instead of generic fillers like LOL (laugh out loud) and ROFLOL (rolling on the floor laughing out loud). These two acronyms have been used so often, you’d think we had a nation of giddy idiots. Every time I see ROFLOL used in blog postings or in e-mails, I immediately begin to imagine what the person looks like as he’s rolling on the floor laughing so hard. And if he uses the abbreviation more than once in a paragraph, I’m tempted to call the local Psych Ward to go check him out. After all, if someone can’t control themselves from falling on the floor in a fit of laughter, they may have something akin to epilepsy, which is certainly nothing to laugh at.

And I also don’t think everything that someone says or thinks is LOL funny. I rarely laugh out loud, except in the privacy of my own home. So when someone describes their day, and uses the LOL acronym after every sentence, I begin to wonder how good their sense of humor actually is. “I went to see my mother. LOL. She was in the hospital. LOL. The nurse was very cute. LOL. I ate all her Jell-O cubes. LOL. She got mad at me. LOL. Told me never to come back unless I brought ice cream. LOL.” As with everything, less is more.

Another variation of this acronym is ROTFLMAOWPIMP, which literally means “Rolling on the floor laughing my a** off while peeing in my pants.” I don’t think I need to tell you what kind of colorful imagery that phrase invokes.

Students and twenty-somethings are probably the biggest abusers of this new form of electronic language, because they’re the ones obsessed with text-messaging their friends at every opportunity they get. A visit with my nieces now means frequent interruptions in our conversation; because they must constantly respond to the other five “text” conversations they’re having at the same time. Undivided attention appears to be a thing of the past, as multi-tasking conversations is now the “new Black.”

I guess I wouldn’t mind all the acronyms, if they were short and made sense. But right now, it takes so much time to figure out what each letter means that reading a simple one-paragraph e-mail might require a half hour of deciphering. Especially for someone like me, who falls into the “PCMCIA” category (People can’t master computer industry acronyms). And don’t get me wrong, I love a mystery. I just don’t think every e-mail should be akin to solving the Sunday Junior Jumble.

At any rate, I felt the need to expound on this topic for some reason. So for those of you who are also a little shaky when it comes to cracking an acronym, here are the meanings of the various phrases in the first paragraph. LSHMBH means “Laughing so hard my belly hurts” (Maybe you should go see a doctor about this) and WYSITWIRL means “What you see is TOTALLY WORTHLESS IN REAL LIFE!” (I can’t even imagine ever having the need to use this phrase, so I’m still not sure what my friend was trying to convey with it either.)

But perhaps the most important acronym is the very first one, FMTYEWTK, which means “Far more than you ever needed to know,” a clear reference to how I feel about the content of this post.

But that’s just me. What do you think about the overuse of acronyms?

The Incredible Lightness of Blogging

Ever since I can remember, I’ve enjoyed writing down my thoughts. Even if it was only for little notes I’d pass to friends in Algebra class, I always made the most of my writing endeavors. My teachers were not always thrilled with my literary accomplishments, however. Especially on the days when my private missives were rudely intercepted by the Teacher’s Pet. (And I mean this literally. Our Algebra Instructor had a lizard in her class, which had a nasty habit of hopping out of its cage to chase after the many notes I’d throw to my friends on the other side of the room. If the Lizard was lucky enough to retrieve one, he would immediately run to the front of the class and deposit his “treasure” at our teacher’s feet. This led to a very uncomfortable confrontation between the teacher, the lizard and me; the end result being a week of detention for me and an extra can of crickets for the lizard. Needless to say, I’ve never been very fond of either Math or Reptiles.)

At any rate, once I learned about blogging, I thought this would be a perfect avenue for my “note” writing. I could jot down my thoughts about anything and everything, and then send them out into the world to see where they landed. If someone read them, fine. If not, they would just meld into the ever-growing universe of data out in cyberspace. But even then, I still felt like I was contributing to something. (Even if what I was contributing to was just a giant junk pile of jargon.)

Today I am celebrating another year of sending my missives out into the world via the Internet. It has been a great experience, allowing me to write about topics I wouldn’t normally give much attention to. (At least not in public.) But the universe is vast, and so are the topics in which to cover. And though I tend to gravitate toward the amusing side of pop culture, there are other times when I’ve felt like ranting on topics of a much more serious nature. (Not TOO serious, though. There’s only so much grimacing one can do in a day before it starts to affect the elasticity of your skin.)

Therefore, I try to keep my “column” light and reader-friendly, looking at the world through humorous-colored glasses. I find that it’s much easier to attract readers if you keep things light. And they might even come back more than once if they find your writing funny. (Even if they only come back to drop another Entrecard in your box, it’s still an opportunity for you to grab their attention.)

In conclusion, this blog has given me a great outlet for my creativity and imagination to run wild. So if you care to join me on my journey at any of the various “stops” (i.e. postings) along the way, I welcome your company. And don't feel the need to bring any of your own baggage with you. Because with me, you’ll always be traveling “light.”